This is My Issue
by SamEvans17
Summary: Everyone thinks my life is perfect : well newsflash it's not. They all think that I'm a rich white girl with no problems because I'm perfect. I'm not, infact I think my life sucks. And now against all odds I'm going to share it with you.
1. My Issues

**A/N: I know I shouldn't really be starting any new stories but this idea just came to me and I needed to get it on here. So heres the story it's a little different from my others but I hope you enjoy it anyway :D**

"You know you're a bitch right?" The words hurt more coming from him than when anybody else had said them. It took everything I had not to let the tears that were forming fall.

I was upset, and I couldn't come up with any better snipe than "Well I'm single" then I stalk off.

So the cute new boy thinks I'm a bitch, what did I ever do to him?

As I walked away I could only think of one place to go that I could get this stress out : the bathroom.

I could cry and toss up anything left inside me from lunch. I know what you're thinking '_Oh my gosh she's just like Marley'_ but no I was like this first and I only brought her down because I didn't want to seem so different. Not that its matters because no one could care less that I'm just as ill as she is, infact at this moment I'm probably worse, but no one gives a crap.

So yes that's right, I'm a confirmed Bulimic, but I'm the only one who knows besides the doctor who confirmed it. I want to tell my mum, but I can't because she can't find out that my father drove me to it.

My father HATES me. He never wanted a daughter, my four year old brother is his pride and joy. Ethan has gotten everything and anything he has ever wanted. The only thing that my father ever gives me are his so called words of wisdom, which usuall consist of _"Well Kitty aren't you looking a little chubby today, you could stand to loose a few, actually alot. You're fat."_

My father is a complete Male supremisist, (he's also very racist but that is not really relevant at this point) so basically in our house that means my mother can't work and I'm treated like crap, and even if she wanted to my mother can't speak up for me to make him stop. It's just not allowed.

So can anyone figure out why I'm such a bitch?

I can't say anything to my father because he'll hurt me. So I take it out on others. I lnow it's not right, it's not christian, but if my father can taunt and beat me under the lords eye then I can insult people.

I enter the bathroom and scowl at the girl standing infront of the mirror reaplying her make-up.

I think her name is Sugar, one of the glee losers. And unfortuately she is the only other perso in here, so if I cry or puke, she'll hear me.

I walk into the nearest stall and wait. Soon I hear footsteps and the swing of the door. I'm alone.

I rid myself of what little food was inside me, then I begin to cry.

I wish I'd heard the footsteps, no one was supposed to know. It's supposed to be my issue, and I'm supposed to deal with it alone.

"Kitty." She was back, I guess she never left.

"Are you okay? Cause you don't sound good, do you need the nurse?"

"No" I manage to choke out. Sugar carefully pushes open the stall door.

"And you don't look so good" she stated.

Sugar helped me up and led me to the sink.

Who would of thought that the annoying rich girl would turn out to be someone to rely on, a friend, my only friend.

Unfortunately I couldn't tell her everything, I don't think I'll ever be able to tell anyone my issues.

**A/N: So thats the first chapter, please tell me what you think :D**


	2. My Father

**A/N: Thank-you to all those who reviewed it really meant alot to hear what you had to say :D**

**Warning: Abuse.**

I got home late today, Cheerios practice ran long because we kept messing up the routine. When I say we, I mean me, although Brittany did end a few of her flips backwards.

A loud angry voice snaps me from my thoughts.

"What the hell kind of time is this!" yelled my father.

"Six-thirty" I quietly reply.

"Well why isn't my dinner on the table!" It was obvious that my mother had left for one of he time alone sessions and not told me.

"Not that you need dinner" he added. Whenever my mother wasn't at home it was me who had to make dinner, he couldn't just heat up leftovers or get takeout, could he. No he expects everyone to do what he wants when he wants it.

I hate him.

"You know I like my dinner at six-thirty, so where were you that was more important than here making my meal!" He just kept getting louder and louder. And I almost didn't answer.

"At a mandatory Cheerios practice"

"I don't give a crap where you were ..." he slammed his fist into the wall.

"But you asked" I replied, terrified.

"Don't you dare interupt me you little bitch!" He obviously decided that words wern't enough and slapped me.

I quickly attempted to run up the stairs.

"No shoes in the fucking house." He grabbed my leg and pulled.

I wish in moments like these that I had a mother who cared or an older sibling to save me, look after me, or if it was too late, comfort me.

But I don't.

I have a mother who disapears when things get tough. And I have a four year old brother who is currently standing on the stair railing looking down in horror.

I look at Ethan, pleading. Maybe my little brother can save me, hopefully.

"Daddy!" screechs Ethan "Don't hurt Kitty please." Basic words, that mean the world to me.

Our father had already hurt me. But at least Ethans feeble pleas had stopped him for now.

"Sorry son that you had to see that. But Kiity was misbehaving and I had to teach her a lesson." He even had the nerve to look smug, misbehaving my ass. The bastard was standing there beating me, in his shoes.

"Now Kitty go make our dinner" he added before walking back into his office.

If I had poison, I'd know what to do with it.

**A/N: So thats chapter two, please tell me what you think :D**


	3. My Mistake

**A/N: Thank-you to all those who reviewed it really means a lot to me :D**

Walking into Grease rehersals today all I could think about was thank-god for make-up.

Last night after making that retched mans dinner. I examined myself in the mirror. My nose was bleeding and starting to swell. I could also tell there was going to be a bruise on my chin. The small cut above my right eye was tender to touch, so very obviously another bruise.

The damage to my face had come when I connected with the stairs.

The bruises on my ribs, left sholder and arm were my father's doing. I was going to have to wear a white skivy under my uniform just to cover this, it's not even getting cold yet.

But the hardest thing to cover up was how much it hurt to walk.

Walking down the stairs of the auditorium was extremely painful. I was half-way down the stairs when I heard the dorky director, Finn I think, announce that we were to reherse the prom scene today. Horray, more pain for me.

For most of the practice I got away without moving much. That was until Finn decided I needed to practice my cartwheel in the song.

I obviously looked panicked because that big-mouthed blonde boy asked me if I was alright.

I nodded and made my way to the middle of the stage.

_'Oh no'_ I thought _'Everyone's watching me.'_ I mentally screamed.

"You ready Kitty?" asked Mike. I nodded because apparently I had lost the ability to speak.

Mike told me to back up, so as to ensure that I had plenty of room.

The dancers who are with me for this bit surround me and the music starts right before my part.

We dance forward, jump, then I exucute my cartwheel perfectly. I silently thank-god while everybody claps and cheers.

But of course Finn decides we need to do this again, several times.

I complete the next three perfectly and am begining to sweat now, damn this skivy thing.

"Okay one more time" calls Finn.

I roll my eyes and set up again. I should have realised that I've become to cocky. I look up and see two Mikes standing at the edge of the stage. I look to my right and see two Jake's and two Sam's, then I look left and see two Marley's and Ryder's. There was two of everything, and I kinda felt dizzy, but I couln't stop because I have my reputation to protect.

The two Ryder's were looking at me funny, then I noticed him moving closer to Mike.

Why was he moving from position, I was about to point this out when the music started.

I was dancing, and I could tell it wasn't good, mostly beause of the double, now spinning vision. And it was starting to scare me.

It happened almost slow-motion. I could tell as I began the cartwheel, he obviously could too, that my fotting was off and my left arm was throbbing, but I kept going anyway. And he could see that.

Everything went black.

And if it weren't for Ryder I would have broken my neck.

**A/N: Please tell me what you thought, and if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them :D**


	4. My Secrets

**A/N: So hears the next chaper, it's a little longer than usual, enjoy :D**

I hear muffled voices, and I want to know who they belong to.

"Is she okay?"

"Did she faint?"

"I think she's dead!" I could tell that was Brittany.

"No, she's breathing" this voice belonged to the male you was still holding me. I could tell because this voice was closer than the others, and I shifted slightly when he talked. I was pretty sure it was Ryder.

I'd somehow ended up on the ground. But Ryder was holding my head up off the ground, I could fell his chest behind my head. Damn Ryder has abs and his groins right in my back, wow my heads in the gutter, what's wrong with me? I don't usually think like this!

Everyone was still talking around me, but I couldn't find the energy to open my eyes, appently my mind is too busy with other things.

The only time I could place a voice was when Ryder talked, this was probably because I got moved slightly everytime he talked.

"Maybe I should take her to the nurse" he suggested. To be honest I wouldn't mind being in his strong arms a little bit onger. It feels nice to be cared about.

He feels nice, no bad Kitty, no bad thoughts. So I'm oficially mentally scoulding myself now?

"Hey maybe this will help" an overly perky voice added.

There was quite a chorus of "No, Britt, no!" Then I felt cold water splash over my face.

I opened my eyes, my make-up! I jumped up and bee-lined for the girls bathroom.

"I told you it would work!" cheered Brittany. And I was out the door.

Why does the auditorium have to be so far from the girls bathroom?

I duck to cover my face from anyone I pass, and I finally make it to the bathrooom. Thank-god no one saw me.

"That was too close" I sigh in relief.

"What was too close?"

I look up in the mirror then turn and almost dive into the stall.

"What the hell Ryder, this is the girls bathroom!" I screech putting plenty of emphasis on 'girls'. I put th toilet lid down and sit. I'm not coming out until he leaves, and judging by the approaching footsteps it's going to be a while.

"Go away" I yell.

"Kitty what's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing and why would I tell you if there was problem anyway. I'm a bitch remember."

"Okay look, I'm sorry about that but this seems like way to big of a deal for just water. So would you please tell me what's wrong" he pauses "Why were you so stiff in rehersals..."

He'd been watching me? me, of all people, me?

He continued, but this time it was softer "And where did you get the nasty bruises?"

I stiffened. How, when did he see? How, it must of been the mirror. God I'm so stupid, I looked up at him in the mirror. That's when he saw.

I quickly thought of a decent excuse, sort of a half truth, not a lie! If I told anyone the full truth and my father found out, I'd be dead.

"I tripped on the stairs. Yeah tripped."

I guess that would do for now...

For two hours now Ryder had been trying (and failing) to get me to come out of the stall. He must care about me if he's this devoted to getting me out, right?

I was surprised no one had come looking for us, I mean Ryder is playing the lead.

"Okay how about this" he tried "We trade secrets" I perked up at this idea. "For every secret you tell me, I tell you one, only if you come out of course. How does that sound?"

I unlock the door and come out to find Ryder sitting on the floor. "Finally" he sighs. Then I go and sit next to him.

"Okay, you first" I smile.

"No no, you first, it was my idea"

"Fine" I huff "But what's said in this room stays in this room." I hold out my hand for him to shake.

"Of course" he takes my hand, and I swear it's like electric, like he shocked me.

"Right then" I take a moment to get over my shock "I'm..." I pause. "I'm allergic to peanuts" I look up at him "Your turn."

"Wait what happens if you eat them?" he looks back at me questioningly.

"I get all red and blotchy, my throat gets sore, and it can be hard to breath. You know I can't even touch them without starting to go red." I wave my hands for emphasis "It ain't pretty" I stop for a second "Your turn!" I almost yell in realisation. "Now go!"

"Okay someones a little excited... Alright then... I, I have seen all the twilight movies" He closes his eyes then opens one to look at me.

I look at him, shocked and trying to to choke back a laugh "Seriously?"

He nods, opening his eyes "The last one was the best, the fight scene epic!"

I nodded "Agreed, have you read the books?"

"Ah... no" he stated then added "Your turn." He seems almost as into this as me.

"I really don't like Marley." I look back up at him and he looks dissapointed.

"That's not a secret Kitty, everyone already knows that" he looks up at one of the stall doors. "That's why I called you a bitch, remember."

He got a little mad when I didn't answer, it probably didn't help when I said that Marley was an annoying know-it-all pain in my ass.

"Kitty you don't hav to be so mean"

I rolled my eyes.

He grabbed my arm "Kitty listen to me."

In an automatic reaction I quickly turned away from him.

"Please don't hit me!" I cried.

Ryder didn't say anything he just let go oof my arm. I slowly turned back towards him. He had a look of utter shock on his face.

I got up and ran from the room. This time he didn't follow me.

**A/N: So that was chapter 4, please tell me what you think. If you have any ideas, or things you think should happen tell me, I love hearing from you guys :D**


	5. My Non-Existant Fairytale

Walking into school the next day was hard. I didn't have the confidence and energy that I usually did.

And judging by the looks I was getting, people knew about my ungraceful fall.

Then someone threw a chocolate bar at me. I looked to the ground where it landed.

He had told, how could he.

I picked up the snickers bar and walked straight up to Ryder's locker, completely forgetting the fact that I had embarrassed myself in front of in the bathroom yesterday. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to my level.

"How could you, you said you wouldn't!" I whisper yelled.

"How could I wh… "I cut him off by shoving the unopened nutty chocolate bar into his mouth, then I let go of his shirt.

He pulled the bar from his mouth and stood up straight.

"How would you like it if I told everyone, that "RYDER LYNN LIKES THE! …" he quickly covers my mouth.

"Someone already told" he pulls what looks like a poster out of his locker with post-its on it.

"Not me" I mumbled under his hand. He then uncovered my mouth and showed me the poster; on one side was Robert Pattinson with a post-it saying _'Team Edward?'_ and on the other side was Taylor Lautner _'or Team Jacob?'_

I tried not to laugh "At least they gave you a choice"

"Did you tell?" he asked.

"No of course not, did you?" He shook his head. "Then who did?" I continued.

"You do you think, Peanut, Teen Gay Vampire" Coach Sylvester turned to each of us, giving us our new nicknames as she called them. "Just so you know I have Sue-cams all around this school, not to mention loyal spies. So the next time the two of you go into one of the Cheerio's bathrooms for a make-out session, I'll release some more juicy secrets that I know about the two of you."

Ryder and I exchange glances then look back at Coach Sylvester.

It doesn't matter that Ryder and I weren't making out, what matters is that Coach Sylvester know things about us, things that we don't want others to know. The worst part is that she won't hesitate to use these against us; we're in deep trouble because Coach Sylvester always gets her way.

"Now Kitty go feed my baby, she probably hungry about now" she points down the hall and yells "NOW!" then she walks away, thank-god.

I go to run off when Ryder grabs my arm and says

"You just need to know that I would never, ever hit you or any girl for that matter. Only messed up psycho's hit girls." This made me smile.

I then ran off saying a quick good-bye to Ryder.

…

Being a Cheerio is good and bad. Popularity equals good, Sue being coach equals bad. Winning championships equals good, late practices to get those championships equals bad.

Watching football games equals good, watching Ryder play football equals double good!

Trying to focus on cheering when our team scores is hard, mostly because 75% of the time Ryder scores the touchdowns. And his end zone dances are pretty good.

So yes I have a crush on Ryder, this is good because I need a distraction. I need something to get me through a horrible afternoon at home, and he's it.

After the football game Sugar comes up to me and hugs me.

"Great cheering" she shouts and does some mock cheer thing.

"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't like any kind of sport at all."

"Well I don't, but I had to come. I'm supporting my bro… est friend, my best friend." She hugs me again. "Yeah I came to see you cheer, yep to see you cheer" she nods, satisfied with her answer, then looks around her.

"Are you okay Sugar, you seem…"

"Seem what? Maybe it's the two cups of coffee and lack of bathroom, besides that I'm fine"

Obviously our definitions of fine are completely different.

"By the way are we still going shopping on Saturday? Wait that's tomorrow?" she had changed the subject to avoid giving me a proper answer.

"Yep" I replied, Sugar was now bouncing up and down.

"Ohh, look bathroom, see ya" she screeches and runs off, I'm honestly embarrassed for her, who yells about needing the bathroom?

I didn't even say bye, or get to tell her that tomorrow was only Friday.

I finish packing my things and am about ready to head home, when I feel someone tap my shoulder.

I turn to look into his kind eyes and caring face.

"Hi Ryder"

"Hey. I just thought you should know that … um … the reason I haven't read the Twilight books is … because" he pauses for a short while "I can't, can't" he whispers the last word "Read"

I could tell he was joking and I didn't find it funny, "Well maybe you should get it checked out" I turn to leave.

"Wait Kitty, I'm serious." I looked back at him to see that he was in fact very serious.

"I told you something big Kitty, something I haven't ever told anybody, not even my parents."

I feel ashamed. I thought he was joking. I feel horrible, so horrible that I feel I have to tell him.

I have to tell him something as equally big, that no one else but Sugar and I know about. Not even my parents, the same as him, that would make it equal, and then he can't hate me right?

I don't want to do it, but I have to. Maybe he'll understand right? And help me maybe, possibly, if I'm lucky.

I mean he is that kind of caring guy, who would help a damsel in distress, like a knight. He would be my knight in shining armour.

Like a fairy tale.

But fairy tales don't exist.

If they did I wouldn't have this kind of problem.

"I'm Bulimic"


	6. My Dislocated Life

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait but school is already hectic (unfair) but it's my final year so I need to do well.  
So I made a cover for this story and I hope you like it, enough of my babbling and on with the extra long chapter :D  
_**

Usually I liked Fridays (chicken salad for lunch, that actually tastes good!) but not this Friday. I was paranoid that someone had heard me talking to Ryder about my problem.

I walked up to my locker. I attempted to lift up my right arm to open the locker.  
Then I remembered last night.

_Sugar had dropped me off home after the game, I had figured that it would be smarter than calling my father._

_I thought wrong._

_My father was so mad, he looked insane. _So I'll save you the scary details, and just tell you about the worst of my injuries.  
I'm pretty sure he dislocated my shoulder, I'm lucky he didn't break my arm, the hold he had on it meant that it could have gone either way.

I'm right-handed so it takes longer than usual trying to open my locker using my left hand.

I awkwardly get my books out of my locker, close the locker and turn, to get a massive fright.

"Hey Kitty!" called Sugar. I waved with my now free hand, then bend down to try to pick up my books.

"Here, let me help you" a familiar male voice offers.

"Ew Ryder, what are you doing here" Sugar scrunched up her face.

Ryder rolls his eyes "Helping a friend"

Sugar shakes her head "No, no, no, she's my friend, I'll be the one helping her thank-you very much."  
Ryder stood up with the books then Sugar grabs them from him, then he takes them back and holds them above his head. Way, way out of my reach, and apparently Sugar's too.

"Give 'em here Ryder!"shouts Sugar.

"You'll have to reach them first." he taunts.

"Hey both of you stop it, your arguing like siblings do, why?"  
They both look at me shocked, then look at each other, then back at me.

"Here's your books, I'd better be going." Ryder hands me my books then leaves.  
I look back at Ryder who almost trips over Artie as he's truing to get away. It's obvious that there's something they're not telling me.

...

Sugar and I walk off talking about some really cool shoes she saw in a magazine, when we come face to face with Coach Sylvester.

"Kitty, I'm going to be straight with you. I can't have a Bulimic girl on my squad."  
My eyes widen in shock, Sugar and I exchange glances then look back t Coach Sylvester as she continues.

"So until you stop this nonsense, your off the team, I want your uniform on my desk in half and hour." Then she just walks off, like it was nothing, a regular occurence. It probably is since she doesn't have a heart, I feel sorry for her daughter.

Life isn't fair, but I'm sure I got dealt one of the worst hands. I hate being me, because nothing ever goes my way.  
And honestly I'm beginning to question my faith. I'm supposedly devoted to God and what not but if he really cares about those who believe in him then why does he do this to me. I go to church every Sunday and the only thing I pray for is for my dad to stop hating me.

I suppose I should be happy that I have friends now, real ones. For me friends have a rare occurence, I can't have sleepovers, so what little girl would want to be friends with me.  
It's depressing.

Sugar pats me on the back.

"I don't have anything to change into" I sigh and look at Sugar.

"Don't worry, I have a dress you can borrow." She smiles "It's in my locker, let's go get it."

...

Sugar and I are in the bathroom, and I'm in the stall putting on Sugars dress.

"Ahhh, Sugar, where's the rest of the dress?" Not only was the dress extremely mini, but the entire back of it, besides the sting across the top, was non-existant.

"That's it" she answers as I walk out of the stall. "It's perfect on you!"

"It is so reveling" I state, "I don't like the fact that I show more skin in this than my Cheerios uniform!"

"Well do you want to trade?"  
I take one look at the pants she is wearing and fully decide against it, shaking my head.  
"Well then don't complain" she says os she begins re-applying her lipstick.

I pull my hair out of its high pony form, letting my natural loose curls fall. I pick up Sugar's hair brush and begin on my hair.  
Sugar walks around me to put her lipstick back into her make-up bag. She pauses behind me.

"Kitty that is a massive bruise on your back." I stiffen.

"Is it really that bad" I whisper.

"Yeah, it kind of really noticable, how did you get it?"

"Cheerios, how else." The way Sugar nods as she continues to her make-up bag tells me that she doesn't believe me.

"I'll use make-up to cover it," she suggests and I nod.

...

A little while later we leave the bathroom and go our separate ways down the hall, we have the same class but i needed to make a detour to Coach Sylvester's office.

I walk in, drop the uniform on the table, then walk out. I do not want to talk to her.

...

I'm walking down the hall to class when I feel someone drape something over my shoulders.

"Thought you might need this, because in case you haven't noticed, the back of your dress is missing."

I turn to face Ryder, awkwardly pulling my arms into the sleeves of his Letterman jacket. "Thank-you" I say honestly.

He smiles at me, he has such a cute smile "No problem" he pauses, "What did you do to your shoulder, you're holding it really awkwardly, did you dislocate it in Cheerio's or something?"

I quickly nod thinking that it's the best excuse I have heard all day.

"Well then, we should go see Coach Beiste, she master at popping shoulders back in" he smiles again, still incredibly cute.  
I nod completely unaware of the pain that would be to come.

...

We get to the locker room's, which smell awful by the way, and Coach Beiste is nowhere to be found. The only person in the locker room is a very depressed looking Sam.

"Hey Sam do you happen to know where Coach Beiste is?" asked Ryder

"Teaching, why?"he answered glumly.

"Kitty dislocated her sh..."

Sam suddenly jumped up "I can totally fix it" he seemed to be back to his unusual, overly happy self.

Ryder looks at me questioningly, I cautiously nod, "If you break my arm Big Mouth I'll kill you." Sam looks satisfied with my answer and steps closer. I take off Ryder's jacket.

"Ahh, well that's some dress Kitty" states Sam

"Yeah I forgot to ask about that, what happened to your uniform?" questioned Ryder

"Sue kicked me off the squad, for the you know, my problem." Sam looks confused, but Ryder nods understanding what I'm talking about. "And so I now have to wear Sugar's dress"

"That's Sugars!" Ryder yells, making me and Sam jump, then I try to hear what he's mumbling to himself, but I can't quite make it out.

"So are we gonna do this or not?" asked Sam "Ryder give her your hand, and I'll count"

"Why do I need his hand?" not that I mind holding it, but I want answers. All I get is

"Don't count Sam, it's bad to know when it's coming". Sam nods, what are they like experts now or something, I don't get it.

"Why?" I screech. Ryder holds out his hand and I take it in my left, since Sam is going to fix my right, I hope.

"Because, it's gonna really ..."

I cut him off with a string of swear words a good Christian girl should never say, digging my perfectly manicured nails into Ryder's hand, causing him to make a small sound of pain then whisper

"Hurt"

I look up at him with one of my worst glares "No, shit, Sherlock!" I spit.

"Sorry about that" said Sam "But it had to be done" he shrugged. I let Ryder's hand free of my death grip, and turned on Sam.

"Why didn't you warn me, huh, that hurt like hell! And now your acting like it was no big deal, I'm still in extreme pain. I'm gonna kill you." I attempted to lunge for him, but was stopped by Ryder, you had somewhat recovered from the pain I'd put him in.

"Let's go now, thanks Sam" called Ryder as he dragged me from the locker room. I was hanging like dead weight and giving Sam the I'm watching you gesture.  
Once we were out Ryder said it was time we went to class.

Ryder handed me back his football jacket and I quickly recovered myself with it. "Thanks again for the jacket"

"You never actually thanked me before" he smiled.

"Well I meant to." I looked around me then I hugged him and I smile when he hugs me back.

...

**A/N: That was chapter 6, so please review and tell me what you thought :D**

**And if you would like to see images of Sugar's outfits that the girls wore, then you can go to my page and click the link ( I did try putting it here, but that failed)**

**The last thing is I was wondering, if maybe you guys would like me to put up another version of this story, but from Ryder's P.O.V, my sister thinks it's a good idea but I'd like to hear what you guys think. Let me know if I should or not, if I get enough people saying I should then I will :D**


	7. My Friends

**A/N: Thank-you to all those who reviewed it really means a lot to me and I really appreciate it, this is my most popular story by far!**

**Enough of my talking, for now, and on with the story :D**

...

"Here," Ryder hands me his red football shirt, it would be a really sweet gesture, if the reason behind it wasn't what it was.

Sugar was standing next to me dripping in slushie. She'd had eight of them thrown at her.

"I guess they realised that they hadn't slushied me before" she paused "They told me it was long over due, idiots, I hate them."

Just my luck, Sugar gets slushied the day I'm wearing her spare outfit. My life really does suck.

"Can I atleast keep the belt, so that the shirt has shape."

Ryder laughs at this, I don't see what he finds so funny, this is serious!

Sugar shakes her head "No that belt needs to be with that dress, you can have this one," she gestures to the one she is wearing. "I can't very well wear a zebra print belt with a leopard print dress!"

I looked down at the dress that I was currently wearing, it was very leopard print. "So I have to wear the zebra belt?"

"Only if you want to" she shrugs.

...

Sugar and I walk away from Ryder's locker and into the nearest girls bathroom to change.

While we were in the stalls and swaping items of clothing, Sugar decided to tell me something that she couldn't have thought of before.

"You do know that people are gonna know that that's Ryder's shirt you're wearing. And their minds would probably go bad places."

The places couldn't be that bad, but I still wish that I had realised. His number, people would spot his number from a mile away, and asume the worst.

"I'll just wear his letterman jacket, no biggy" I replied.

"But it doesn't do up, what then?"

Does she have to burst my bubble, I mean really.  
"I'll borrow from someone"

"Who?"

"I don't know, I'd even borrow from Marley if it came to it."

...

It came to it.

We, the three of us, Sugar, Ryder and myself, were standing at Sugar's locker, which gave us a good view of Marley standing by her locker talking to Jake.

"Do I have to" I whispered.

"Yes" confirms Ryde, also whispering.

"You said you would!" yells Sugar, Ryder then puts a hand over her mouth.

"Shush will you already," adds Ryder. Sugar rolls her eyes and I star slowly making my way over to Marley. I stop halfway and turn, to find my exit path blocked by Sugar and Ryder.

"Go" points Sugar, and Ryder turns me around. I continue forward with my friends near behind.

"Hi Marley" I smile sweetly.

"What do you want Kitty?" Jake questions rudely, and like I've alredy pissed him off.

"No one asked you, I'm here to talk to Marley, so get lost!" I snap.

"Nicely Kitty" Ryder scoulds me.

"Sorry, I'm here to talk to Marley, if that is alright with you two," I throw in a sickly sweet smile for good measure.

Jake looks shocked.

"Uhhh ... sure Kitty, what did you want to talk to me about?"

I look up at Marley, who I now realises dwarf-a-fies me.  
"Marley, if it's alright with you ... could i ... borrow," I cringe "Your spare jumper maybe, please?"

Marley and Jake both look confused.

"Why?" asks Jake.

"Because" I throw my hands into the air "I need it okay, I don't like wearing boys clothes, in case you havn't noticed" I open Ryder's jacket that I was tightly holding closed. "This ain't a dress!"

"You're so short that I could have sworn it was one" quipped Jake, and I saw Marley trying to hold back a smile.  
So I threw him one of my worst scowels, he then looked like he really regretted those words.

"I got kicked off the Cheerios, Sugar got slushied and now I'm wearing Ryder's football shirt!" I yell, "I'm not having a good day, and you are most definately not helping, infact you are being an a ..." I was cut off by a large hand covering my mouth.

"Down Kitty" said Ryder. He then told the story properly, with Sugar's help. So Marley lent me her ugly jumper. But atleast it covered the number, and belonged to a girl. Ryder got his jacket back and the rest of my day was a joy.

Not.

The rest of my day sucked.  
Lunch was the worst. I'm not allowed to sit at the popular table any more, so I sit at a table by myself with my chicken salad.

I'm waiting for Sugar when some horrible person comes from behind and dumps peanuts in my lunch. I almost cried. I would have, if not for most of the cafeteria staring at me.

I just sit staring at my lunch, drinking my Pepsi through a straw. I can't even touch my lunch at all, it's not fair.

Lucky for me, I have a Knight in Shining Armour.

"Here, have mine." Ryder puts his tray in front of me and slides mine along. He then sits next to me, he could have sat anywhere, with anyone, but he chose to sit with me, that has to mean something.

"Don't worry Kitty, I have your back." Then he pats my back, for empasis I guess.

Sugar slams her tray down in front of us "Jerks" she mummbles. It's like only then that she notices our presence. "What's with the peanuts Ryder?"

"Oh well Kitty ..." I throw him a glare. "So she doesn't know?" he questions.

I shake my head "Don't think so."

"You're allergic, I know that, everyone knows that, I didn't know that is was some big secret" she states as she stabs a piece of chicken.

Ryder and I look at eachother. I'm confused, Sugar just does that sometimes, completely looses you in a conversation.

"Explain" says Ryder.

"I know that Kitty is allergic, but I don't know why you would have peanuts so close to her, it's dangerous!"

"Sugar someone dumped them in her lunch, so I switched with her so that she could eat."

"Oh, well then. Not that it matters if she eats cause ..." Sugar trails off unexpectantly. She realised what Ryder didn't, if I ate it wouldn't matter cause it would be coming back up later. I guess it hadn't really sunk in with Ryder, or he just didn't want to think of me like that, unwell.

"And what about those jerks?" I ask, bringing the now awkward silence that had appeared to an end.

"Oh the idiots who wolf-whisled me on the way over here, and their smart-ass coments!"

Ryder jumps up "Who are they, I'll teach them a lesson." Ryder doesn't end up going anywhere because Sugar tells him to sit, and he does.

I have to know what's going on between them.  
"Hey how about we play the secret game, but we can include Sugar this time, and instead of just telling secrets, we ask questions?" I suggest.

"Sure" agrees Sugar, she is practically bouncing up and down in her seat with excitement.

"I guess so" nods Ryder, "But what about Sue"

"Don't care" I reply "She already knows my biggest secret, what more is ther left for her to know?" That was a lie, but I wasn't going to tell them that.

Ryder nods again and starts to eat his food, while Sugar is staring at me with wide eyes.

"Me first" I state then pause, I know that it's risky to ask something so big in the first round, but I have to know, now!  
"What's up with you two, are you guys dating or something?" I didn't like the idea but I had asked, and I wanted to know.

Ryder almost chokes on the food he's eating, probably a demon peanut. And a look of absolute discust appears on Sugar's face.

"That's disgusting!" she screechs.

I don't see her problem.

Ryder's hot right?

...

**A/N: There was chapter two, I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you did please tell me. If you have any questions, ask me, and if you have any guesses as to what the big secret is, tell me! I'd love to hear what you guys think :D**

**Also, I will be writing the Ryder version of this story, I will start posting it up after the next chapter of the story ( other wise it will ruin this story secret wise) becayse I already have the first two chapters typed up. And I just thought I would tell you that the other story will not affect my updates for this one, once they catch up :D**


	8. My Ways

**A/N: So sorry for the long wait, but school just gets in the way, and when I almost passed out at school: I wasn't allowed on the computer for a couple of days, unfair. But anyway here's the chapter now and I hope you enjoy :D**

...

You know I think it's funny that they call me their friend, but yet won't tell me this big thing that has the two of them freaked. At least I think they're freaked.

Yesterday, after I'd asked them if they were together, I got a chorus of 'No's' and 'Yucks' and 'That's gross'. And I didn't get it, I thought Ryder was hot, and Sugar's not bad herself, so I just don't understand.

Of course I would be extremely sad if they were dating, because it would mean I have absolutely no chance with him. So lets hope it doesn't come to that.

...

So it's Saturday and I'm going shopping with Sugar. I'd very kindly asked my mother to drop me off at Sugar's house, she'd reluctantly agreed.

I walked up the steps or the very large house, then rang the doorbell. While I was patiently waiting and staring at my combat style boots, and pulling at the sleeves of my white leather jacket with the pink flecks, I heard shouting.

"I'll get it!" shouted a male voice, the voice was familiar, but I couldn't quite place it.

"No!" screeched another voice "Let the maid get it, stupid, it's probably her, for me!" I'm presuming 'her' is me and the female voice was probably Sugar.

"Who's her?" asked the male voice.

Then the door opened and I was greeted with a very shirtless Ryder. His eyes widened and I'm pretty sure mine did too. No wonder I couldn't place the voice, I wasn't expecting to find the owner of it here.

I was about to say something when Sugar popped up and slammed the door in my face.  
So instead I pouted placing my perfectly, purpley (self)manicured hands on my hips.

I was listening to Sugar and Ryder arguing, but it was pretty hard to concentrate on what they were saying, with that picture of Ryder's abs still occupying my thoughts.

God he's perfect.

"Does it really matter!" shouts Ryder.

"Yes!" screams Sugar.

"We should just tell her!" he yells.

"No we shouldn't!" she screeches "Hey get back here!"

I soon heard a door slam then saw Ryder come tearing around the corner of the large house, he was running right towards me. And honestly he was going so fast, that there was no way he could possibly stop in time, so I braced myself for the impact.

But he instead picked me up and kept running, without even slowing pace. I was of course frantically clawing for the hem of my burgundy lace dress, which was riding up because of the hold he had around my legs. He was only using one arm, he must be really strong to be able to lift me with one arm.

He kept running right around to the other side of the house to the backyard, he only slowed once, to open the gate to the back.

And the whole time Sugar was yelling at him as she attempted to run after us.

"Don't say (pant) anything (pant), Ryder or I (pant) kill (pant) you (pant)!" If it weren't for the heavy breathing, she would have sounded very vicious, she just sounded out of breath and stubborn.

Ryder stood me on the seat of their picnic bench, and I then again realised how depressingly short I am, standing on this bench only just my eyes level with his.

"Kitty there's something you need to know" he said only slightly out of breath.

"No there isn't" yelled Sugar as she tackled Ryder to the ground, that girl could be strong when she wanted to be.

I would have stopped their mini wrestling match, but that would have ment getting down, and I'm quite enjoying the height thank-you very much.

It was okay because they stopped when Sugar pinned him. She was sitting on his chest with one foot on each arm, and using both hands to cover him mouth.

"She doesn't need to know" hissed Sugar "You were the one who didn't want to tell anyone then, so we won't now!" she shouted the last few words.  
Ryder then mumbled something, that Sugar obviously understood, but that I didn't quite catch it. Whatever it was really pissed Sugar off because jumped slightly landing heavily back on his chest, causing him pain, well I'm sure it was pain, judging by the sound he made.

"Alright Sugar, off" I said jumping down from the bench, my lovely high bench. "Let him go before you badly hurt him."  
Sugar was very reluctant, and I pretty much had to pull her off him. Once she was up, she made a cutting gesture across her neck while glaring at Ryder. He actually looked worried.

She wasn't going to hurt him again, not on my watch. I situated myself in between the two of them, strategically placing a hand on Ryder's stomach. I then quickly placed the other one on Sugar's so that it would seem like I was feeling Ryder's abs, which I was.

God help me, I'm losing it. I need to have a clear head if I'm to figure out their secret.

"Right" I stated "No more arguing" I grudgingly removed my hands. I turned to Ryder (I figured he would be more straight with me).  
"Please, please, please tell me" I begged clasping my hands together.

Ryder was about to answer when Sugar jumped on my back to cover my ears, shouting "La, la, la, la, la." Sending me straight into Ryder, who obviously doesn't have very good balance, because we all end up on the ground.

I was content, happy even, and I really, really didn't want to move. I was sort of lying on Ryder, and it felt great, he felt great. But I needed, not wanted, but needed to know this secret. So I decided to use a little technique that I'd mastered over the years.

I sat up and began to sob. Ryder and Sugar shot up so fast, you would have thought they were animated cartoons. They started comforting me, patting my back and asking what was wrong. I even managed to get a few tears out.

"Just please, please tell me the secret" I sobbed and sniffed.

"Fine" sighed Sugar. I knew I was getting somewhere if Sugar Motta was convinced!  
"We're related" she folded her arms, clearly unhappy.

"Cousins?" I asked.

Ryder shook his head "Twins."

My mouth fell open.

"She's my sister."

"And unfortunately he's my brother."

...

**A/N: So that's it, did any of you see it coming? **

**Big props to Blame-People for figuring it out two chapter's ago, go you :D**

**This chapter is sort of giving Kitty a break, because there is lots of bad stuff to come, I thought it was important to give her just a small piece of happiness and fun before the storm.**

**The link for Kitty's outfit will be on my profile page.**

**If you enjoyed the chapter please review, they mean so much to me :D**


	9. My Escape

**A/N: And after that long, long wait, Kitty is back Peoples!**

**So basically this chapter was originally meant to be two, but seeing as I had the long break in-between, I combined it because I just thought everyone deserved it :D**

**Enjoy :D**

* * *

My father needs a new job. I would want it to be one where he didn't come home so agitated and worked up.  
He didn't need a new job as in, he was fired from his old one. He needed a new job as in I wanted him to get one, maybe one he enjoyed a bit more.

I lay on the floor of my bedroom. I was locked in, this wasn't uncommon.

A mixture of tears and blood was forming on the wooden floor within my eyesight. I felt sick just looking at it.

My brother hadn't been there this time.

I tried to sit up. There was immense pain all down my left side, particularly my arm and knee. I slowly managed to get myself up on my right arm, leaning on my hand. Watching the blood drip from the cut in my forehead was nauseating and I soon had to lie back down.

My father had no only gotten mad about me going out today and coming home two minutes later than I was supposed to, but he's found out (from my mother) that I had come home from school yesterday in a boy's football shirt.

As I lay here I can't help but think about why my own mother would betray me like that. I had explained to her what had happened, and I'd thought she had understood, so I went a quickly got changed. I thought she'd understand, but she has obviously decided that she hates me too.

The only thing that can even make me remotely happy is thinking about my best friends, who I now know are twins. They had to explain it to me twice, I just didn't get it.

But I do understand now, they're twins and they didn't want people to know they were related because of the money thing. I do kind of understand where Ryder is coming from, and why he doesn't want people to know he is related to Sugar. He wanted real friends, not fake ones that only like him for his money, like in the past.

A horrible feeling came over me, the nausea got worse and I jumped up to grab my little plastic bin. Thank-god it was pretty much always empty, besides lolly wrappers.  
I then puked.

It was becoming pretty normal now, every time after I ate, or felt sick my body had the same reaction and tossed out everything inside. I know this isn't a good thing, and that I need help. But I'm going to wait until I get skinnier because I'm still too fat.

I know that when I'm skinny enough that my father will tell me, I think. At least I hope he does. Because even though I hate him, I do this to myself for his acceptance. I need my father to accept me, I really do. Maybe when my father accepts me, he'll stop hurting me, and maybe he'll even love me.

But I'd better not get my hopes to high, or else they'll never come true.

This is also why Ryder will never like me. I'm not good enough. He's perfect and I'm broken, I have issues, issues that are still just my secret. So this means I'm not good enough for him.

I can almost trust Sugar and Ryder with everything, except my father. If they found out things would only get worse, and then my father would never accept me.

...

"Kitty!" yells my father, and I swear I can hear the laughter in his voice. "I have a friend here who wants to meet you!"  
My father is a sick, evil, twisted man, and I hate him.

I know damn well it's not someone who just wants to meet me. They want more. Last time my mother stopped it, and took a beating for it. But this time there was no one here to protect me.

...

I did what I had to...

I ran.

I was only in my satin nighty and combat boots, I didn't have time to pack.

I just had to get away.

The most opportune time was after his friend made me change, then went to the bathroom.

It was a tight squeeze to get out my window, because it doesn't open very far. I got a graze on my thigh (to add to my collection of cuts and bruises) from the concrete ledge. It stings but I have to keep on going otherwise they'll catch me.

I'm so dizzy. I might puke again.

I'm determined to get away. And I can think of only one place where I'll be safe. But it's so far.

It was dark, it must be about 9 - 9:30, I can't tell, I don't have a phone or anything.

I stop running, and take a minute long breather. I try my hardest not to puke, but I do, and now the gross taste is back. I decide to take a few more seconds on the street corner to suss out where I am. Not recognising any of the street names, I keep going. I'll recognise something eventually, I hope.

I turn another corner, then turn and run back in the other direction, and dive into a bush. Turns out to be a prickle bush. So now I'm in even more pain. But I need to hide from the on coming headlights, just in case.

There are two men in the car, oh crap.

They pull into the driveway of the house that owns the bush I'm in, oh crap!

They get out of the car, it's not my dad and his friend, thank-god. But I do recognise them.

I step forward for a better view. 'Snap.' Oh no. Both of them turn to look in my direction.

"Is someone there?" asked the taller one.

"Dude it was probably just some animal, like a raccoon or whatever." Stated the second one.

I shouldn't have but I turned and ran from the bush, creating enough noise to ensure I was heard, this was not on purpose.

I stumbled onto the footpath, then ran right past the driveway.

"Kitty?" I heard footsteps following me, "Kitty it's me Sam, and Finn's here too, what are you doing out here?" One of them caught up to me, Sam I think, putting a large hand on my shoulder.

"Let go!" I screech, pulling away from him, then landing myself on the ground. I could feel the tears forming, but I didn't want them to see.

Finn soon catches up and crouches down next to me. "Is something wrong Kitty?"

"What would make you think that?" I reply snidely.

"Well most people wouldn't be running around in their pyjamas is something wasn't wrong."

I looked down at myself. A purple satin nighty wasn't usual running attire. I could see his point. But I wouldn't give them any important details.

"I'm going to Sugar's," I state.

"Isn't that like ages away?" asks Sam, who is now sitting on the ground beside me.

"Yes but it's where I need to go. It's safe!" I yell.

"Okay, but what do you mean by safe?" questions Finn.

Oh crap, I had said 'safe'. My eyes widen, I hadn't meant to.  
"I've already said too much." I get up, it's painful, so I use Sam to push up and balance myself. He offers me his hand, which I completely ignore and don't take.

"At least let us drive you," says Sam as he drops his hand. 'You shouldn't be walking around like this, it might give people the wrong idea."

...

I had reluctantly agreed to letting them drive me. I wasn't sure I could trust them, after all they could have taken me back home. But pulling up in front of Sugar and Ryder's house, I was so happy.

"Thank-you," I said genuinely. I knew they could tell I meant it, even if they didn't know why they were taking me here.

"No problem," answered Finn who was sitting in the drivers seat.

I get out of the car and walk up to the front door, and knock. I watch as Sam and Finn drive away, then I turn back to face the large wooden door.  
Before the door is opened I heard shouting.

"Ryder we have a maid, let her get it!"

"It's called not being lazy Sugar!"

A few 'whatever's' were screeched before the door opened.

"Kitty?" I looked up at Ryder knowing full well that all my injuries were on full display. "What happened?"

I just shook my head as the tears began rolling down my face. He then pulled me to him and held me, closing the door behind us.

I still couldn't tell them.

* * *

**A/N: Sooooo, was it worth the wait, what did you all think? I'd love to hear your opinions, please review :D**


	10. My Lips Are Sealed

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, but there are two stories now, and so it does take longer and I'm trying my best to update regularly :D**

**If you don't already read Ryder's p.o.v for this story, then do start, please because his will (hopefully) always make sense, where as you won't have any idea what's happening with Kitty's p.o.v in coming chapters. These two stories are completely involved, and so intertwined that it's pretty much necessary to read both, so please do.**

**And Enjoy, I trust you'll all love the end of this chapter :D :D**

I was sitting on the bench in the kitchen at Sugar and Ryder's house. Sugar is sitting next to me plucking bits of twigs and leaves from my usually perfectly styled hair. Ryder was sitting on the bench across from me on the other side of the kitchen. The bench was cold, I slightly shivered, despite the reasonably warm weather.

"So you're really not going to tell us anything?" he questioned.

I shook my head and he sighed leaning back against the wall.

"Up, up, up, no bums on benches, scoot, scoot, the lot of you." Some strange foreign lady walked into the kitchen clapping to the beat of her words, then her gaze landed on me.  
"My god girl, what happened to you?"

Sugar practically pushes me off the bench and starts to push me somewhere else, replying snidely to the lady as we pass.

"Wouldn't you like to know." I was just guessing that she may have been the maid Sugar was always on about.

Sugar ushered me down an extremely long hallway that was decorated with expensive looking paintings (they probably were expensive paintings) in gold frames, the walls were a burgundy colour, it looked so beautiful.

"Wow the halls..." I started.

"Yeah, yeah they're beautiful, we get it!" said Sugar, harshly shoving me through a doorway, then slamming that very door in Ryder's face.

"Really Sugar!" We hear him say from the other side of the door.

"Go away Ryder! This is strictly girls business!" she screeches, then turns back to me. "Spill." I honestly don't understand how Sugar never has a sore throat, what with all the screeching she does.

"Let me in please," said Ryder as he banged on the door.

"Let him in," I say, "Won't make a difference, because I'm not telling anyone anything." I can't. "No one needs to know." They might.

Sugar reluctantly opens the door, scowling at Ryder. Ignoring her, he walks straight past her through the door and sits on the pink zebra print sofa next to me.

Pulling a face Ryder tells of his distaste for the statement piece of furniture in Sugar's room "This thing is horrible," he grumbles, patting the seat. It is horrible, it really is.

"Shush or you're out," states Sugar bluntly, placing both hands on her hips. Ryder holds up both hands in defence and slumps back into the couch.

Sugar looks at me, and I cross my legs and fold my arms (painfully so) then look away from the both of them.  
After about ten minutes of silence Sugar finally starts talking agin. I was relieved, I had seriously thought something was wrong with her.

"I know what it is." She states, so certain of herself, too certain. But Ryder looks suddenly interested at the prospect of Sugar knowing what's wrong with me.  
"You got lost, so you came here to get cleaned up then get us to take you back home!" Ryder nods in approval, Sugar seems so pleased with herself.

"NO!" I frantically scream, causing both Sugar and Ryder to jump. "I'm not going home, you can't make me go home, not home." I hunch over and pull my knees up to meet my chin, wrapping my arms around them.

Way to not seem suspicious Kitty!

I then feel a comforting hand on my back, "It's okay Kitty, if you don't want to go home, you don't have to. We have plenty of room here." Ryder smiles at me, and I find myself ever so sightly smiling back.

...

I woke up from an awful nightmare, sweating and gasping.

Sitting up I look around me I didn't recognise anything in this large room, so I start to panic. Maybe I hadn't woken up yet. I quickly get out of the enormous double bed and cross the room to the door. Opening the door didn't give me any recognition as to where I was.

I didn't know what a panic attack felt like, but I think I was having one.  
"Oh god," I sighed, hey now, look at me, taking the lords name in vain. But back to more important matters. I stepped into the long burgundy and gold hall. I run my fingers along the wall, it was cool to the touch, with a slight texture that made my fingers tingle. Sighing I drop my hand to my side, then quickly cross my arms, pouting. I kind of need the bathroom, and I'm experiencing some kind of memory loss, so I'll never find the damn thing. I hear something, like a door closing, like maybe a fridge door, possibly, and I jump.

Stubbing my toe on door frame, truly proves that I'm awake.  
"Shit, shit, shit!" I was hoping, making my down the hall, hopefully in the direction of the bathroom.

I didn't get very far though maybe a quarter of the way down the hall. I slumped against the wall and slid onto the floor. "Ouch," I exclaimed.

"You know Kitty, you can be really funny sometimes. You make me laugh." I look up to see Ryder in all his shirtless glory, coming down the hall from the direction I was headed. Everything came back to me, I was at Ryder's house, and I was safe, my dad couldn't get me here.

"Good to know," I sarcastically stated. "Glad to know I look like a fool when I'm hurt."

"You don't look like a fool, or maybe you do, but everyone looks like that when they stub their toe." He sits down next to me. "It's a fact of life."

"Unless you are a vampire," I smile. This causes him to look down, but I notice the smile he's trying to hide.

"There's that." He gives up on the not smiling façade as he turns back to me. "And there's also, you wanna tell me why it looks like you took a bath in your pyjamas."

"Cause maybe I did." I didn't want to tell him I'd been having a sweaty nightmare, gross. Although he would probably figure it out. "What time is it?" I ask, softly leaning my head on his shoulder. The skin was smooth but, his arm was like really hard.

"I don't know, about three, maybe. Hey! Don't change the subject!" I sit back up. "Did you have a nightmare or something?"

Knew it.

"Maybe," I said, making sure my green eyes don't meet his brown (really nice brown eyes). He gives me the 'tell me the truth' look.  
"Yes," I sighed. "I had a nightmare, but I don't want to talk about it!"

I had been about my father, my horrible, sick-mined ass of a father. In my nightmare he had found me, he just showed up and took me away. My friends didn't stop him because they didn't know I wasn't safe with him, because I'd never told them. I've officially given up on getting his approval, and hopefully because of this I can better and not be bulimic anymore. All this is mostly because I'm not going home. Ever, at least not as long as I have a say in the matter.

I can't go home, it's not safe for me there. And it's not fair, I miss Ethan. Ethan was the happiest thing I'd known at all since he was born. Of course my father had started treating me worse, but Ethan got me through it, barley, but he was definitely a major help. But when my father starts trying to 'give' me to his friends, well that's something no one should have to go through, even my little brother wouldn't have been able to help me. I hate to even think that.

Sometimes I think that maybe if I tell Sugar or Ryder about my dad, that maybe, possibly things might get better. I would know for sure that I would be staying with them and that they'd never make me go home. But something's stopping me from telling them, and I have no idea what it could be.

"Kitty, why do you have so many secrets?" Ryder turns slightly toward me. "There's obviously something big that's bothering you. Telling people can help, so you need to know I'm here to listen to whatever you have to say."

I look down, "I just can't tell," I whisper. "You or anyone."

Ryder leans in closer to me. I'm fully aware of the heat radiating from his body as he tilts my head back up to look at him. "You can trust me."

Then his lips softly meet mine.

**A/N: So was that worth the wait, tell me your thoughts, and I'll reply :D**


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